For our “Megan’s Minute” video series, blogger Megan Lavin is joined by her husband Claudy Lavin. They dive into a hot topic in the food allergy community: marriage issues with food allergies. To do so, they weigh in on a few key questions on relationships in the food allergy household.
In fact, one issue they tackle is the one most frequently raised by Allergic Living readers: “I feel like my husband is more relaxed than I am.”
The Lavins discuss that this is true in their own relationship, but also why that can be a good thing rather than a negative one. Claudy notes that if the mom is handling more of the daily food allergy management, the issues that arise and doctors’ appointments, it’s only natural that she will be more anxious from that degree of involvement.
If a dad has a less emotional response to an allergy issue that’s arisen, Claudy, whose background is in the mental health area, thinks that can be useful. He finds that by coming in with a little distance, he can add perspective in a charged situation. “So that we’re not just being reactive to what’s going on.”
In their home, Megan does bear more of the stress and allergy workload – from the calls and issues from the school, a team or sometimes a relative. She agrees that “he can help calm me down.” So while it might feel frustrating at times if your partner is more relaxed, she finds that, ultimately, her husband’s demeanor helps get them to a place of finding solutions.
Whatever your own relationship situation, she notes: “You want to bring out the strengths in each other.”
Allergy Safety: No Place to Relax
Megan stresses that a more “relaxed” spouse should definitely not mean one who’s uninvolved or cavalier about allergies. She discusses that the dad (or partner) has to know and follow the allergy safety protocols – from reading labels to being prepared to use the epinephrine auto-injector.
“So if that’s the level of relaxation that you’re worried about, there needs to be a matched level,” she says in the video.
The couple discusses situations like: when one partner may not feel heard, the wife who doesn’t feel her concerns are validated by her spouse, or the husband who feels his opinion on an allergy situation doesn’t count. As well, how to communicate to resolve differences, set boundaries, and when to involve a child in decision-making.
Megan and Claudy certainly do not pretend to have all the answers to allergy issues and the marriage. But in the video, they’re sharing tips that they have found helpful to staying on the same page and communicating better. They hope these may resonate with followers – and assist them in their own personal situations.
The Lavins have been married for 14 years and two of their four kids have multiple food allergies and asthma. Their older son additionally has eosinophilic esophagitis (EoE), which limits a number of foods in his diet.
“We’re a yin and yang in many facets,” notes Megan of the couple’s personal styles. “I’m the more talkative one, he’s the quiet reflective one.” In terms of their relationship, she says these differences “have really helped, especially when it comes to food allergies.”
Megan’s Minute Series
Join Allergic Living monthly for a new installment of Megan’s Minute with Megan Lavin, the creator of the Allergy Awesomeness blog, which features great Top-8 free recipes and articles. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.
More videos from Megan:
Food Allergy Mom’s Advice: How to Hire a Babysitter
Allergy Mom’s Advice On: Creating a School 504 Plan
Soccer, Snacks and Allergy Safety
View the full video series on the Allergic Living YouTube Channel here.