Talking Allergies

So as most of you know I am starting to plan my wedding for June 2012. Obviously my main concern and focus is the food. First and for most, I want my FI to be able to have fun and eat whatever his heart desires at our wedding without having to worry about dieing at his own wedding. Secondly, we want to have the best food possible because even with my FI allergies we are ** foodies. I have done some testing of the waters, as in finding caterers and such business and I am find that a) a lot of them say that they aren't "insured" to feed my FI and b) they want to charge us a retarded amount because they would have to go to special lengths to make us "special" *cough, cough* food. So now both my FI and I have agreed for safety AND to get exactly what we would like, we are going to do our food ourselves with my family. It is going to be an event of no more than 50 people so I am fine with that.

HOWEVER,

Lately my friends have been asking wedding questions galore which is fine, even though I am not a typical bride in anyways, shape or form. But I find whenever food comes up a couple of them are always like, "So what will we be eating because R can't have this or that." or my personal favorite "Well, you can serve the "good food" while he gets is own special meal."

SERIOUSLY!?!!?!?!?!? YOU JUST SAID THAT TO ME?!?!?!!

I know in most social situations people don't get it, but it is our bleeping wedding. I don't want to have to worry about cross-contamination, or him getting a bit tipsy and accidentally eating something (I know I am being a bit melo-drama) and he has to go to the hospital or worse! I also hate the fact that they are implying that our food is going to be terrible just on the sole fact we are excluding dairy, egg, peanuts, tree nuts, pineapple, turkey, and seafood (groom's mom and my other friend have severe allergies to it.

Now I want to make it my personal mission to blow their taste buds out of the water with our fantastic food. because it will be fantastic.

p.s: this is my first wedding related rant...haha

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Moi: Pineapples, Turkey and Asthma.
Fiance: Ana. to Dairy, Eggs, Peanuts/Nuts and Horse. Also has asthma.

I really feel for you. This is a huge time in your lives and no one wants anyone to 'burst their bubble' when it comes to the excitement surrounding their own wedding. I imagine there is a long history with these friends, they are coming to your wedding so I assume they mean a lot to you and vice versa. I also bet they have no idea how much their joking around hurts you. Knowing how stressful a wedding can be I wonder if they are attempting ( ) to make light of the situation to help you feel more at ease?
Speaking of food, at Zero 8 their aim not only is for safe food free of the top allergens but to make great food that even those without allergies would love. And they succeeded!!! I also have found that some of the dishes we have had no option but to try re-invent at home have come out more delicious than the same meal we used to eat out.
I bet your food will be so amazing you have friends and family coming back for seconds and thirds.

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DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish

Simply smile, crinkle your nose and say that you were having a hard time whittling down the guest list...

Honestly, they don't mean to be hurtful. They simply aren't thinking. You have a lot invested in your wedding in terms of money, emotional energy, etc... You want to include everyone but ultimately it is the bringing together of you and your FI. You are looking for others to witness and celebrate this event and comments like that can strike a nerve.



It gets worse as the big day approaches...Just breathe and know they don't really mean to be as insensative as they sound. You are naturally more sensative than they are in regard to the wedding.

Heck, it's probably the biggest and most formal event most of us will ever plan!

I know that it will be wonderful.

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It really is difficult enough to plan a wedding with all of the crazies out there without dealing with the food. But really, no matter what you do, someone will complain about something. This is YOUR day, and if your guests don't like what you are doing, they don't have to come!

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Hiebs
Me - Allergic to Dogs, Cats, Dairy, Nickle.
DH - Celiac Disease
DS1 - Allergic to Horses, Cats, Dogs - Asthma, Eczema
DS2 - Allergic to Cats - Eczema, Asthma

Oh, friends. Even mine still sometimes say, "you're allergic to everything." I'm like, really???

You should just tell them that you look forward to proving them wrong and blowing their minds with the menu you come up with. Keep it light, though. I agree, most friends mean well but sometimes they come out with comments that can be frustrating and upsetting.

Remember, this is your day. Even my non-allergic cousin had to deal with comments from her own mother who was trying to dictate to her that she could not have a lemon flavoured cake because it wasn't "traditonal." As the maid of honor, I had a talk with my aunt and lovingly put her in her place

Point is: do what you want, how you want and pay no attention to others. If, as I suspect, your friends really do care about you, all that will matter to them is that they get to witness your special day.

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Associate Editor at Allergic Living.
Allergies to all nuts and legumes except soy and green beans.